Birthday Party Recap

Fair readers, I am only going to say this once, so you’d best pay attention: if you throw a party and invite IU Law students, be serious about it, because they will be. I don’t care if it’s an hour before finals or the day after the last one, enough people will be there representing the class to cause you to inexplicably forget half of it, and what you do remember will likely be via pictures.

I was, indeed, serious about the party and my class (’08, baby… represent!) brought it in grand fashion.

I do have one regret, however, and I’m going to share it prominently right here. I should know better, after twenty-five years, than to throw a party and not set an alarm. One of the few things I remember saying last night was “I promise I’ll be in contracts tomorrow!” I promised Chrissy, who sits next to me and teases me when I miss. Obviously this would not be a regret if I had set an alarm (actually, then I would probably regret being alive, but that’s another story) but I did not, so when I woke up at 10:45 I have to say that I was disappointed to have not followed through on my promise, drunken and ill-advised though it may have been, to sit through contracts with Chrissy. So I am sorry about that, and will probably have to try to make it up to her. (As though my presence really meant anything more than another game of spider solitaire to watch)

The great thing about parties is how the memories come trickling back… and how they don’t.

For example… how the hell did the giant beach ball get in my bedroom? I don’t remember that, but it was certainly there when I awoke this morning.

I do remember, however, using “I’ve got my commercial outlines in my room, wanna go see?” as a pick-up line to anyone that would listen. In the end, nobody even glanced at them. (Aside: what have I become? Outlines as a pick-up mechanism?)

Query: did someone take my contacts out for me? If not, yay for me! I took them out without causing permanent blindness.

I do not normally throw up. Last night I made an exception. At least one exception. Maybe two. I can’t really recall.

I nearly broke a light fixture. I was shocked that it worked when I flipped the switch.

I have an inexplicable photo of Nick’s face mere inches from my crotch. His mouth is open, but he his bearing his teeth. It’s a hair unsettling.

I am especially thankful for those folks who came for a little while even though they weren’t drinking, felt like they had to study, or don’t like me. That was really sweet, y’all. Seriously.

I am sorry that I never persuaded anyone to have sex with Kyle. Better luck next time.

It is quite likely that I scarred my sister for life. For. Life. At least twice. Possibly more often than that.

I recall Matt Butcher saying something funny… I’m not sure what it was, but I do recall it being funny. Kudos to him.

There’s one beer left in my fridge. It is a lonely beer, and a late-comer. We drank everything I bought.

I recall going around and “cheersing” with everyone… if they did not have a drink, they had to kiss me. That was a pretty good idea.

I dispensed advice drunk. If you thought I was straight-to-the-point and tactless sober, you should hear me drunk.

I’m sure there are points I’m forgetting. Lots and lots of points. Feel free to share them in the comments if you remember them.

Also, there are pictures and more pictures

So there you have it. This post is probably a living document… I’ll add as I remember more.

If you have any guess as to how many beers I drank last night, let me know. I’m curious.

PS: FMM is coming. I know I forgot. Shut up.