Google is going to love this post, I can feel it.
Well, folks… this topic has come up THRICE in the past two days, so I’m going to answer the question definitively and finally right here, right now. It’s time to reveal a deep, dark guy secret… I’m going to tell you the reason we guys love girl on girl action …
Truthfully? We don’t have a fucking clue. Not one. Sure, I’ve seen “the equation”:
Girl = +1
Guy = -1
Girl + Guy = 0
Guy + Guy = -2
Girl + Girl = +2
That is, seeing girl on girl action is infinitely better than seeing guy on girl action, and guy on guy action just shouldn’t ever be recorded or partaken of in public. The formula? Well, it’s bullshit.
I’ve also heard the theory that, well, women are just more attractive than men in general. The female form is a work of art, so it stands to reason that seeing two would be better than seeing one. That also takes into account why two guys isn’t good. I mean, think about it… our bodies are functional at best. The scrotum? Yeah… whose fucking idea was THAT? If the scrotum is not the single most unattractive body part EVER, I don’t know what is. I mean, think about it… it’s wrinkly, hairy, amorphous, and it just hangs there.
The real answer is that we don’t know why girl-on-girl action is so hot and, frankly, we don’t care. It doesn’t matter. Why does anyone like what they like?
If we’re sitting around a bar and we happen to see to girls randomly engage in a drunken make-out session we don’t think: “Well lookey there! Two females engage in open-mouth kissing. Ages upon ages of evolution have taught me to spread my seed far and wide, and there are two girls right there that are piquing my interest!”… No… what we say is “Woah! Dude! Check it out!”
That is, of course, if we can get that out before the blood rushes away from our brain to perform other various and sundry tasks. If we can’t manage that big, long, monstrosity of a sentence, you’ll probably get a “Woah!”, a “Sweet!”, or a random grunt as our eyes glaze over and drool starts to roll down our cheek.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the secret.
We don’t know, we don’t care, it doesn’t matter, and all the bitching in the world isn’t going to make us find it any less sexy… so you can stop now.
No more “That’s disgusting! Why do you guys like that?”
The same exact reason you liked Like Water for Chocolate or Dirty Dancing… no discernible reason whatsoever.
UPDATE: Courtesy of Nicole… http://www.tshirthell.com/shirts/tshirt.php?sku=a286
August 5th, 2004 at 12:11 am
I think this post needs some qualification.
Guys love “hot girl on hot girl” action, or at least “hot girl on decent girl” action. Girl on girl action in and of itself is not enough. Think about it. There are few things worse than two ugly girls getting it on with each other. I mean, it’s just nasty! Remember… there is a diffence between lesbianism and hot lesbian action (HLA)!! A BIG difference.
Let the name-calling begin!
August 5th, 2004 at 12:16 am
Agreed… I thought it went without saying, but I’m glad someone said it anyway.
I’d hate to be giving out the wrong info.
August 5th, 2004 at 1:54 am
Ryne (to Morgan): I was reading Pete’s post about girl on girl action and got pretty interested in it, but the middle part got me thinking about Pete’s scrotum, and that kinda wrecked it for me.
Morgan: Ewwww. Now *I’m* thinking about Pete’s scrotum. (Morgan shudders, not touching Ryne for the rest of the night.)
Ryne: Dammit, Pete.
August 5th, 2004 at 1:54 am
I’ve heard it explained that when guys watch p0rn, in their minds they are replacing one of the players with themselves, hence the endless fascination with girl on girl action, hot or otherwise.
I’ve also heard it explained (by the same person, in the same conversation) that when women watch p0rn, they envision themselves as an addition to the players, hence their ability to enjoy guy on guy sex as well as the other combinations.
That explanation works as well for me as any other. It certainly seems to fit when matching it against my own viewing tastes…so to speak.
August 5th, 2004 at 2:21 am
Yeah… ummm… you really weren’t supposed to end up thinking about my scrotum. Or anyone else’s.
Sorry about that.
August 5th, 2004 at 3:54 am
Damn, where did the Girl-on-Girl Action idea come from?
August 5th, 2004 at 6:42 am
ditto bobby’s comment.
also… which is hotter? two girls genuinely into each other, or two girls obviously putting on a show to attract the local horny males?
or does it not matter?
August 5th, 2004 at 8:09 am
I asked a guy once about this and he said it was because if a guy sees girl-on-girl there is always the hope that he might get to join in.
That made sense to me.
I bet more people have thought of Pete’s scrotum in the last 12 hours than the rest of his life combined.
August 5th, 2004 at 9:51 am
Well, in my mind, the key benefit of HLA porn is getting to see a girl having sex without the displeasure of seeing some naked guy. Seeing a naked girl is just fine, but sex is better. However, the guy screws everything up - just at the wrong time you get a screen full of guy ass or something. So the HLA is the perfect combo, all the benefits with none of the drawbakcs. That pretty much fits the equation I suppose, but it gives it a little more life.
As far as when you see two (hot) girls making out in a bar. Well, that’s just hot. It just is. Anyone who claims otherwise is lying, confused, or blind.
Hilary: I’d say that 2 girls that are actually into each other(but happen to be bisexual) is preferable, but it really doesn’t matter.
August 5th, 2004 at 10:59 am
Hilary: I’m not entirely convinced that it matters… If they’re really into each other, well, that’s hot.
If they’re really into horny guys in the bar (of which, for the purposes of this discussion, we play the part of) well, hey, that’s you! and if she’s willing to do it in a bar in front of other people, you never know what she’s willing to do alone (or with friends) in the privacy of your home.
August 5th, 2004 at 4:13 pm
Ewwww to “The Ruckii”!
August 5th, 2004 at 5:18 pm
Thanks for clearing that up for me Pete…as I have probably told you …math was never my strong suit
August 5th, 2004 at 10:34 pm
Yeah there are a couple of camera angles that can really ruin it for ya… Or so I’ve been told. So what are the best camera angles and what are the worst?
August 6th, 2004 at 4:05 am
This is to Hilary’s question:
I would prefer two girls genuinely into each other instead of them just putting on a show.
August 10th, 2004 at 9:11 am
you know… I’m real sure if I should have read this… being your sister and all.
August 10th, 2004 at 9:12 am
I’m not…****
I just LOVE typing.
August 10th, 2004 at 2:11 pm
Pete,
I didn’t know you have a sister.
August 10th, 2004 at 2:15 pm
Two. And a brother.
August 11th, 2004 at 1:31 am
Yeah, you sort of told me about the brother part at ICON. I just didn’t hear you mention about any sisters!