No, really. The best obituary ever. Let it be known: when I die, I want this to be the mold out of which my obituary is crafted, and it had better be funny, damnit.
Jim, who had tired of reading obituaries noting other’s courageous battles with this or that disease, wanted it known that he lost his battle. It was primarily as a result of being stubborn and not following doctor’s orders or maybe for just living life a little too hard for better than five decades.
. . . .
He was sadly deprived of his final wish, which was to be run over by a beer truck on the way to the liquor store to buy booze for a date. True to his personal style, he spent his final hours joking with medical personnel, cussing and begging for narcotics and bargaining with God to look over his loving dog, Biscuit, and his family.
Read the whole thing.
In lieu of flowers, he asks that you make a sizeable purchase at your favorite watering hole, get rip roaring drunk and tell the stories he no longer can.
Will do, Jim.
I wonder if he liked college football. I’m gonna save my drink in his honor for Saturday night.
Now that is just downright spectacular….