Oh, I’ll Slow Down…

An open letter to a stupid woman

Dear Moron,
The main drag in town has a speed limit of 20 miles per hour – a completely reasonable number, and one which I follow quite strictly. It would be embarrassing to have to explain to my boss why I was speeding down main street. This morning was quite unremarkable in that regard. As I made the turn off of Main Street, I was going less than 15 – probably closer to 12 – miles an hour.

My view from Main of the road you were crossing was obstructed, a fact of which you should be acutely aware, given the fact that you couldn’t see what traffic was coming your direction. Yet, instead of walking the five extra yards to the corner so you could see the oncoming traffic (and it could see you), you chose to cross in the middle of the road. Far enough from the corner that cars turning onto that road couldn’t see you, but close enough to make stopping for you fairly hazardous.

That was dumb. Dumb but excusable.

I can even excuse your mouthing “slow down” at me as I nearly stopped to accommodate your plodding pace. You were startled, after all, and probably a bit on the defensive side because this was a risk that you actively contemplated before completely disregarded it.

What I cannot excuse, however, was then getting in your car and following me so that you could drive by the parking lot and yell out the window “Maybe you should slow down next time.” That, ma’am, is too much.

To be the victim of a drive-by scolding from a frumpy, middle-aged woman is not how I’d have chosen to start my day¹, especially given the fact that the original encounter was not my fault.

Next time you get the urge to chase someone down and admonish them, take a little personal inventory. Decide what it is about your life that you hate so much that you need to do something like that. Then, instead of wagging your finger at someone else, fix your own life. You’ll be far happier in the long run.

Hugs & Kisses,

Pete

1. On top of that, while you were engaged in your mobile mothering you were paying no attention to the road in front of you and were driving too fast to stop should a jay-walker start out across the narrow street.