Why It Sucks To Be My Girlfriend

(No, this is not a ‘reader participation’ post.)

Over the gorgeous, gorgeous weekend we took Scout to the park. Everyone else took their dogs to the park, too. This led to a lot of excitement for Scouters. And, I guess, when you’re a dog, you have to pee, and there’s a lot going on, you might sometimes not pay very close attention to what, exactly, you’re peeing on. This leads to dogs, to quote Ask Metafilter, “just [pick] the first upright thing to pee on.”

On one occasion, that “first upright thing” was Amanda’s leg.

Also over the gorgeous, gorgeous weekend IU held Spring Law Day where admitted students were invited to come see the campus. During the campus tour I led, I walked into the trial courtroom (which is usually empty) and interrupted our Dean practicing an oral argument for a case that she’s involved in. One of our professors was playing the judge. Said professor happens to be teaching evidence this semester. The prof. explained what was going on to the prospectives, I apologized for the interruption, and someone made a joke about what was going to happen to me in class. I said that I was fortunate not to have evidence this semester but, if the professor wanted, she could punish me by calling on my girlfriend.

“Who’s your girlfriend?”

“Amanda…”

“…you mean she doesn’t get called on enough!?”¹

The professor then intimated that she could exact her revenge by proxy: she could call on Amanda and let her know that it was my request that made it happen… fast forward to Amanda’s evidence class yesterday. The professor (somewhat) explained the story and then proceeded, during the course of the class, to call on Amanda for three different things. I’ll be incredibly amused if this continues throughout the week.

So, in short, the reason it sucks to be my girlfriend is that my dog and I are both obnoxious.

1. Apparently she gets called on quite a bit more than a lot of other students.