I often take Scout to the park. I usually lift him up onto the base of the stone drinking fountain and let him have a drink of water. Especially when it’s hot outside. Never have I been approached or even looked at disapprovingly.
Today, however, while scout was having a nice, cool drink, a crotchety old woman (hereinafter ‘COW’) with a lab mutt that was nowhere near as cute as scout walked up and we had the following exchange. Right there in the park. In front of about a dozen or so power walkers, dog owners, and tennis players.
COW: That is disgusting.
Pete: Really? I don’t think it’s very disgusting.
COW: Well, most people would think so. They don’t expect someone’s dog to be licking on it before they drink out of it.
COW: I’ll never drink out of it again now that I’ve seen that.
Pete: Oh… well… in that case, you’re welcome!
COW: I’m sorry?
Pete: Well, I presume it must not have occurred to you yet just exactly how many ‘disgusting’ things happen to this fountain on a daily basis.
COW: . . .
Pete: I mean, animals and bugs crawl around on it… probably shi– uh… ‘defecate’ on it…
Pete: Sick little kids basically suck the water out of it.
Pete: Honestly, ma’am… my dog should be the least of your worries.
Pete: So if that bothers you so much, I would assume you’d like to thank me for making you aware of what sort of things happen to this faucet when you’re not standing guard over it.
COW: I appreciate your sarcasm.
Pete: I’m glad. If you’d like more, try to tell me how to use other public resources that my tax dollars go to fund.
Pete: Have a nice evening.
Pete: Really? I don’t think it’s very disgusting.
COW: Well, most people would think so. They don’t expect someone’s dog to be licking on it before they drink out of it.
COW: I’ll never drink out of it again now that I’ve seen that.
Pete: Oh… well… in that case, you’re welcome!
COW: I’m sorry?
Pete: Well, I presume it must not have occurred to you yet just exactly how many ‘disgusting’ things happen to this fountain on a daily basis.
COW: . . .
Pete: I mean, animals and bugs crawl around on it… probably shi– uh… ‘defecate’ on it…
Pete: Sick little kids basically suck the water out of it.
Pete: Honestly, ma’am… my dog should be the least of your worries.
Pete: So if that bothers you so much, I would assume you’d like to thank me for making you aware of what sort of things happen to this faucet when you’re not standing guard over it.
COW: I appreciate your sarcasm.
Pete: I’m glad. If you’d like more, try to tell me how to use other public resources that my tax dollars go to fund.
Pete: Have a nice evening.
Pretty much the only thing, in retrospect, that I wish I had included was a question about why a woman of her age and appearance would lecture me about ‘disgusting’ while wearing spandex to the park.
