When we last left our hero, he had survived another weekend in Tuscaloosa, and he was on his way to St. George Island, Florida.
Broadwing, the place we called home for a week.
The way I’m going to do this part of the trip is that I’m going to hit the highlights tonight, and then provide more detail in a later post.
A while back Amanda (my lovely girlfriend, just FYI) said that her parents had invited me to go to Florida with them on vacation. Apparently they were going to “rough it” — they were going to sleep until whenever they felt like waking up. The were going to eat amazing food and drink to excess. They were going to hang out on the beach and harass wildlife (in a good way). Clearly this would be a trying thing for me to do, but I agreed to go with them because I am such a kind, thoughtful and selfless person.
Also along on the trip were two of her parents’ friends, who turned out to be really cool people.
Now, I know it already sounds like a rough time… but you are not going to believe what happened after we had been down there for a few days! IT RAINED, Y’ALL! It rained, and rained, and rained. It had to have rained for minutes on end. It probably rained for TENS of minutes! And then, just as suddenly as it started, it stopped… and this horrible rain had robbed us of a very vital time period of the day: some time before 7:00am, if memory serves. All I remember is that I was so despondent to be awoken by rain that I went right back to sleep. Thankfully, when I woke up the next time, the scourge had gone… but in its place it left the absolute worst kind of weather: BEACH WEATHER.
That’s right… it was sunny, not oppressively hot, and there was a slight breeze. Horrible! Aside from that oh-my-god-noah-get-to-building-your-ark type monsoon, it was Beach Weather from the time we stepped foot on the island until I packed it in and called it a trip.
I was forced to eat oysters (raw, of course), great shrimp and fish, scallops… pretty much every kind of yummy seafood you can think of. Force, I tell you. You will not believe what else. Amanda’s father… made me a steak. Yes, that’s right. That horrible, horrible man cooked me a steak. A really good steak.
As I said: it was a very trying time. Such a tough life I lead, but I will fight through the painful memories to provide you with some detail in the next update… for you. Because I care.
To be continued…
