I generally turn funny quotes from class into away messages… but I’m full of those and a new semester is starting, so I’m getting rid of the away messages featuring professors that I no longer have… but I don’t want them to disappear entirely, so I’m listing them all here for my own amusement.
Crim with Hoffman
Random 1L: I don’t think we can call it “attempt”… he hasn’t done it!
Hoffman: Well that’s why it’s attempt!
Hoffman: He could clearly be convicted of ‘attempted doing it’.
Hoffman: Could the barboy be charged with 492 counts of involuntary manslaughter [for the fire]? Well, he was probably dead…
Hoffman: Chris Rock is drawing on 500 years of common law history when he does that routine…
Hoffman: The element of the crime, here, is “dead people”
Hoffman: If you were battering them, and you wanted them dead… GREAT!
Hoffman: Look, this is really important, you don’t use gasoline in a barbeque and you don’t use gasoline in a fireplace!!
Random 1L: If everybody who speeds gets put away for attempted negligent homicide, a lot fewer people are going to speed!
Chris: From a practical standpoint, who knows what a reasonable woman would do?
Hoffman: Why? Because women don’t kill… they’re just better than men.
Torts with Heidt
Heidt: I hope you feel that sense of tedium on the exam.
Heidt: It probably hurts plaintiff’s case that Alfrieda is a woman, though it might not be politically-correct to bring that up.
