Best of Q1, 2005

Well… it’s about that time again… time to start selecting the best posts of the year. We’re going to cover the first quarter (Jan-Mar) of 2005, but I have to warn you… this was not a very good stretch, apparently, and I had to work hard to find posts worthy of your voting.

January 14: Beef: Proper Care and Preparation

There are many ways to prepare beef: five to be exact. They range from “Rare” to “Well” and, as you’ll see shortly, “Well Done” is a bastardization of language and a misnomer of the most severe degree. First we’re going to begin with a fact: the goodness of beef comes from the juices. JUICES, folks. The closer to “rare” the beef is, the more juices it has in it and, therefore, the better it tastes. If you prefer things to be “well” because you think they taste better, the bottom line is that you don’t really like beef — you like supple leather and you might be well served to get a move to Italy and eat sofas and car upholstery because that’s pretty much what “well done” steak is.

January 26: We Still Miss The Bear

‘Bama fans get ridden hard for “living in the past” — for using our tremendous tradition to prop us up when we’re having a rough year or two. Fans from those schools that wouldn’t know college football tradition if it bit them in the ass just LOVE to talk when they’re doing well (See: Auburn, LSU, Tennessee) but the question I always pose is this one… would I give up, as a fan, the great and storied tradition for one good season now? What about two? Five? Hell no. Good seasons come and go, and without tradition when they go, they’re gone. Nothing more than a few faded memories and stories that start with “remember when” and end with “that seems like so long ago”. When you’ve got tradition, though, those seasons become part of something bigger — they become a part of the tradition. They bolster it, add to its majesty and longevity. The immense tradition of Alabama football is rivaled by few in the college football world, and it all started with The Bear.

February 3: Winter

So that furry little bastard crawled out of the ground yesterday and saw his shadow. Big surprise. Our collective, societal superstition tells us that we’re going to get six more weeks of winter on account of it. Is it just me, or does that suck?

February 19: What you really, really want

Well, it didn’t take very long for people to start messing with me. I had winamp paused and was staring intently at my screen… very focused. This was a bad idea, because it was that moment that Ryne and Morgan chose to blast some Spice Girls through my speakers. The ensuing AIM conversation went something like this…

March 30: Picking on Little Kids

Turns out our friend with a degree in ‘wildlife biology’ is actually… a senior in high school. His name is Kevin and his occupation is described as “Hunting,football,horses,church and lovin amanda!!!” I’m sure Amanda is touched. Would you like to know a little more about Kevin? I bet you do:

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Look! A promise ring! That’s so cute… she’s totally the one! And she needs to keep Kevin around as long as possible… by the ripe old age of 17 he’s managed to make more money than I ever will. That’s pretty cool. Congrats!

As usual, the poll can be found over here so have a read of the old entries and get to voting!