It’s been over a year since “Magnum Matt” came and demonstrated just how much a degree from Loyola University is worth:

So do I know a thing or two about the English language and logic? Well, considering I graduated with a degree in COMMUNICATIONS, and I work at a television station, I believe I know plenty about logic and of the English language, since the news YOU get from us is written with logic and in the English language!

Oh, there’s lots more of this brilliant prose (1 2 3 4) but I’m pleased to present to you the latest installment of mindless, raging drivel from Matt “I have a TV Career” Mistretta. He posted it in the comments of an entry on Bobby’s Blog regarding the reestablishment of UCKI. Let’s have a look, shall we?

Oh…my….God.
This scrawny shit-starter with no life is back!!??
Didn’t he get into all sorts of trouble with this website before?
Didn’t it get shut down?
Didn’t he learn his lesson and move on?
Eric B’s music…yeah, I hummed it while I read the site.
I can’t believe it….is this guy on the 20 year program at Univ of Alab.?
Why can’t he move on with his life and shit-start things at a real job, instead of living in his parents’ basement with his PC, as he runs his little b.s. website, shit-starting all over the country?
I admit I don’t know any of the CKI people there now like the CKI Pres, Troy whoever…and don’t know what dirty politiking [sic] and backstabbing and wrong doings are going on, but I’m sure there is trouble.
But I’ve moved on, I’ve graduated, I don’t care about CKI politics anymore…why can’t he do the same?
Does this dude plan on being in CKI for 50 years? Does being in CKI for more than 10 years net you a 401K or medical insurance that he’s on?
If I ever meet this guy Bobbo….keep all our precious Bacardi bottles away, they would break.
Good…God.

So let’s see if I can summarize… I’m underweight. “Shit-start” is now a verb and is highly preferable to “starting shit”. It’s perfectly acceptable to rant incoherently about someone while admitting to know nothing about the situation so long as you hate the person you’re ranting about. Oh, and I need to move on. Of course, I find it interesting that he harbors such strong feelings months upon months after he should’ve “moved on” from them. Also… oh hell… this is hardly even fun anymore… but my fisking skills are getting a bit rusty, so if you’re up for a train-wreck, check the extended entry.

This scrawny shit-starter with no life is back!!??
I never left, Matt. You just stopped reading. I got over it eventually though.

Didn’t he get into all sorts of trouble with this website before?
Not really. I was jerked around by a power-hungry board… but my membership was never revoked, and I was never issued any reprimands.

Didn’t it get shut down?
Nope, I took it down because the CKI site was doing the job. They stopped, so I started back up again.

Didn’t he learn his lesson and move on?
One might ask the same of you, antagonizing someone that allowed you to so thoroughly embarrass yourself so many times. I see you’re back for more?

I can’t believe it….is this guy on the 20 year program at Univ of Alab.?
Wow… 20 year program? That’s clever. But hey, if I could get away with that, I probably would. College is fun.

Why can’t he move on with his life and shit-start things at a real job,
Because I don’t have the kind of degree I need for the kind of job I want. Not all of us are happy being underlings at some random local TV station.

instead of living in his parents’ basement with his PC,
Parents don’t have a basement, live 10 hours away, and I haven’t lived with them in 6 years. Next?

as he runs his little b.s. website, shit-starting all over the country?
Little BS Website? I bet it’d be better if I had a shit load of video game characters on it, right Matt?

But I’ve moved on, I’ve graduated, I don’t care about CKI politics anymore…why can’t he do the same?
Because I haven’t graduated yet, and if I’m going to be a member of something, I’m going to give it 100% of the attention it needs? I don’t do things half-assed. I much prefer whole-assed.

Does this dude plan on being in CKI for 50 years? Does being in CKI for more than 10 years net you a 401K or medical insurance that he’s on?
He’s so clever. So very clever. I’m jealous.

If I ever meet this guy Bobbo….keep all our precious Bacardi bottles away, they would break.
Spontaneously? Or is this some sort of threat? It’s a weak one, of course, because if I’m so scrawny, why does big, tough Matt need Bacardi bottles? Who knows.

Now, far be it from me to suggest anything negative about Matt. After all, he’s older and has more degrees than I do, so he must be right.

You know what I need? A challenge. Where are all of the intelligent people that hate me? Off doing other things, most likely… not trolling around the internet looking for people to threaten to hit with Bacardi bottles. I they never visit. That’d that’d be too interesting. Instead I have to deal with Bubba Gameboy from the Teevee. Some people’s kids.