Circus Music

Tonight I went to Crimson Cafe. This was, allegedly, to study for the previously referenced Math With Idiots test. I found out that, contrary what one might think about these two studious-looking girls from my class (Jerica and Kim, for future reference), it is actually physically impossible to get ANYTHING done with the two of them and caffeine. Scientists have pondered for ages why, if entropy in a system is suppose to increase as the system ages, the universe is so well ordered now as compared to its chaotic beginning. Let me explain: apparently all of the randomness in the universe is invested in dictating the direction conversation between these two. That dorky tangent aside, it was hilarious. We laughed, we… laughed, and then we studied number theory. (Just kidding about the studying part.)

So, more tangents, a few weeks ago Kim comes to this class that we’ve been in since January and sits down in a set a few feet from me and I notice something odd about her arm. Namely the fact that she’s missing one. Somehow, I had not noticed this over the months of the class. Now, in my defense, it’s below the elbow and she wears a prosthetic… and for the first half of the semester it was pretty much all long-sleeved shirts… so… that’s my excuse. But the nugget of information to take away from this is that I have been aware of this for several weeks.

So tonight we’re sitting at Crimson, discussing something wholly inane (but probably funny) when somehow it’s decided that we should have a note-taking competition (I told you: totally inane). Jerica insists that Kim would win such a competition. I then put on my best arrogant bastard look and prepared to make a faux-haughty comment to Kim, she who would win the note-taking competition. Immediately my mind raced to think of some great historical note-takers… who better to epitomize excellent note-taking than Leonardo Da Vinci, who could write with both hands at the same time! So, being the ridiculously brilliant person I am, I look at Kim with this arrogant, haughty look and say… “Oh yeah? Can you write with both hands??”

As I was saying it, I was thinking “Something is… not right… what…” and then she gave me a bemused look which could be summed up in just two words: “You dumbass” and she said “Um. No.” It was at this point I came to the full realization that I just asked a person with only one hand if she could write with two hands.

And I was mortified. Swear to Paris. Mor. ti. fied.

Luckily for me, she thought it was hilarious… but I certainly turned 40 shades of red, and could literally not say anything for the better part of two minutes. Was this because I was at a loss for words? Because I was laughing? Yes. To both.

Honestly, this was even worse than the time I threatened to burn Dana’s house down just months after a few people died when his house actually did burn down.

So there you go. Pete in a horribly embarrassing situation.