The Vast Right-Wing Conspracy HQ has been planning for the re-election of GW Bush for some time now. I’m going to tell you a little secret… now, don’t tell anyone, or I might get kicked out of The Conspiracy. Bush has already been re-elected. You see, with the help of the Jews, the VWRC has already held the “election” and the results have been tabulated.
I can only share this with you because one of our operatives slipped up and sent it across the AP wire. Whoops.
Never fear, friends… The Conspiracy has covered its tracks — we hope not to reveal the men (and women) behind the curtain any more.
I guess we can go ahead and have the inaguration party now, right?
…and does this mean Kerry will shut the hell up already?

snicker
how very precise of them. glad to know wbay is “coverage you can count on”.
Hey… if Bush wins (especially with those numbers) you know they’re going to be saying “You heard it here first!”