Dave Barry has an excellent column today on a lesson the male gender can take from fruit flies when it comes to “mating” and “courtship”[#]
The Stanford scientists found that these ritual mating actions are controlled by a sector of the fly’s brain consisting of 60 cells — about twice the number of brain cells required to cast a vote on American Idol. According to the article, when scientists mess up these cells, the male flies rush through the mating steps — ”essentially try to do everything at once” — which causes the females to become turned off and develop little fly headaches.
This, of course, is exactly the mistake that male humans make: We’re always trying to rush through the mating steps. Stand next to any construction site, and when an attractive woman walks past, you’ll hear guy construction workers suggesting that she go directly to, like, Step 74. This approach NEVER works. Construction workers have been trying it since they built the pyramids, and not once in all that time has a woman ever said: ”That’s a great idea! Let’s have carnal relations right now on this pile of dirt!”
And yet guys keep trying. Why? Because we’re dumber than fruit flies. Fruit flies at least have some clue what their mating ritual is supposed to consist of, whereas human guys get most of their information from letters written by imaginary people to Penthouse magazine.
Go ahead and read the whole damn thing.
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