Best post of 2003?

Blog Madness 2003 is now taking registrations… we’ve been open for a day and a half and we’ve already got two-dozen entries, with folks linking to it and talking about which of their posts they’re going to be submitting.

I will probably be submitting a post, once I determine whether that’d be too much of a conflict of interests, but I don’t know which one! Luckily I’ve been running these handy-dandy polls to find my best post of 2003. The winner of Q4 was, not surprisingly, “Pete is a Moron”… now you get to vote for the best post of 2003. After careful consideration, I’ve pulled rank and given the slot for Q1 to the Second Place finisher “Damn Installs” because, while popular around here, I don’t think my Circle K related posts are really that great unless you had been following the saga. Nevertheless… here are the nominees:

(1st Quarter) March 1: Damn Installs

“Excuse me, Pete,” it said “This program has stopped responding, and I know you just want to shut down, so this shouldn’t matter, but my program communication policy states that you must click this button before I can shut down.”

“Well, that’s no problem!” I replied, and clicked the button. The computer churned a bit and then said “actually, I’m not too keen on this whole ‘logging off’ idea, so I think I’m going to show you your desktop wallpaper and be completely unresponsive.”

“Completely?”

“Well, no. You can move the mouse and toggle the Num Lock, but that’s it.”

(2nd Quarter) June 27: Chivalry and other Nonsense

This brings me to another pet peeve that I’ll touch briefly. Men are obtuse and women are vague. Worse than being vague, however, women are often illogical. This is a horrible combination. Some of the smartest guys I know don’t pick up on these alleged “hints” because they don’t flow logically. You almost have to understand how the woman’s mind works in order to “take a hint.” Of course, the only REAL way to pick up on most womanly hints is to be a damn mind-reader.

(3rd Quarter) Sept 17: Filthy Little Gutterslut

A “gutterslut” is typically one who epitomizes BOTH trashiness AND promiscuity — quite a feat by anyone’s standards. So if you’re speaking to (or about) someone who, you believe, would be willing, and able, to have sex with virtually every mobile home resident in the county, it would be perfectly appropriate to use the phrase “filthy little gutterslut”

(4th Quarter) December 5: Pete is a Moron: Reason #414

After a few very brief seconds Abby turns around to find out who it is. Except that it wasn’t Abby. A quick look around confirmed this as Abby was close to wetting herself she was laughing so hard. The humor, however, came from the fact that I looked quite shocked and it took me a bit to regain my composure.

I’ll probably put up a poll to find my best CKI Related post of 2003, because there were a ton. If you have nominees, feel free to send them in or leave them in the comments. You might check the UnofficialCKI or Circle K categories for those posts.