Kristin of Not So Fast points us to Dave Barry’s 2003 Year In Review which is, I am not making this up, freaking hilarious. Excerpts:
February:
United States coalition-building efforts are dealt a severe blow when France announces that it will not participate in the impending Iraq invasion, a decision that, in the words of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, “could seriously impair our ability to surrender.
On Valentine’s Day, millions of men give millions of women flowers, cards and candy as a heartfelt expression of the emotion that also motivates men to observe anniversaries and birthdays: fear.
The Academy Awards are held, with the Oscar for Best Picture going to Chicago, only to be taken away by a Fiesta Bowl official and awarded to Ohio State.
The Georgia legislature, finally yielding to intense pressure to eliminate a controversial symbol of the Old South, votes, after passionate debate, to abolish slavery.
May:
In domestic news, Congress enacts massive tax cuts in an effort to, in the words of a Republican leader, “see if we can push the deficit over the skillion-dollar mark.” The major Democratic presidential candidates denounce the cuts and vow to repeal them, because promising to increase taxes is a proven vote-winner on the planet they come from, namely, Planet Walter Mondale.
In a controversial ruling, the Alabama Supreme Court orders a monument depicting the Ten Commandments removed from the judicial building after an audit shows that it actually has 14 commandments, including two that say “Roll Tide!”
In a move that concerns legal scholars, the U.S. Supreme Court announces that it is switching to a new ”reality” TV format, called Who Wants To Be A Justice? in which ordinary citizens will help the court decide cases. In its first decision, the court, by an 11-9 vote, raises the national speed limit to 140 miles per hour.
There’s much funny to be had. Go read it all.
