Votes in the Official Moron Poll have slowed significantly and the ‘02-’03 CKI Board is holding firmly to the lead. Unless Joan can rally some support, it’s all over. Nevertheless, I’m going to leave the poll open for the remainder of it’s week — just in case.
There is, however, a new poll out and about. In December of last year I posted a 2002 Year In Review which was fun to do, and I intend to do it again. One addition this year, however, is that I’d like to present my best posts of the year so that those of you who DON’T come here every day to see what kind of mischief I’ve caused can go back and see what you’ve missed. That might be hard to do with over 220 posts so far this year, most of them being average (obviously, otherwise the average would be different). So, to help that process along, I’m going to be running some polls to pick the best post.
It’s going to go by quarters (January, April, July, and October will be the first months of each quarter) and today I present my nominations for best post of First Quarter, 2003. The nominees are:
January 21: Searches and Scathing Commentary
It’s sometimes comical to me to listen to a certain person watch a sporting event on TV. … In telling people about it, it seemed to me that they didn’t quite understand, so I thought I’d throw together a little demo tape, taken from maybe 25 minutes worth of tonight’s ‘Bama basketball game.
Before I post the link, be warned: you really shouldn’t listen if you have a problem with profanity.
February 4: God Chaser
Upon arriving at Pizza Hut, it was observed that God Chaser was about twelve feet tall. This is an approximation, because my judge of distance deteriorates after about 4 feet, and it was clearly farther than that from my eyes to the top of his head. I figured his height must help if God is actually a midget… much less likely to lose him in a crowd.
March 1: Damn Installs
“Excuse me, Pete,” it said “This program has stopped responding, and I know you just want to shut down, so this shouldn’t matter, but my program communication policy states that you must click this button before I can shut down.”
“Well, that’s no problem!” I replied, and clicked the button. The computer churned a bit and then said “actually, I’m not too keen on this whole ‘logging off’ idea, so I think I’m going to show you your desktop wallpaper and be completely unresponsive.”
“Completely?”
“Well, no. You can move the mouse and toggle the Num Lock, but that’s it.”
March 5: Falsified Memories
So what if your memories get screwed up? I mean, I’m no brain surgeon, but it seems like the memory is just a very complicated data storage device. So what if your brain messes up and accidentally remembers something that didn’t happen? Just because you remember it doesn’t make it true, does it? If someone tells you to go to hell, you might feel sad… but what if your brain remembers that as a joyous occasion?
March 27: Craptoons: Volume 1
So I was chatting with Manny today, talking about how I’d love to do political cartoons, but I have the artistic talent of a head of lettuce, so I probably wasn’t cut out for it. He said I should do it anyway… so with the aid of a modern computer graphics program, I give you: Pete’s Crappy Cartoons; Volume 1, Issue 1 …
Sure it’s crappy looking… but that’s my gimmick!
So head on over to The Poll or just vote in the side bar. Your pick!
