I’ve been requesting sappy forwards and such… I’ve gotten a decent number, but none that have really struck me. I did, however, run across a list of 15 reasons why it’s good to be a woman on Cathy’s blog today and it was just what I was looking for. I present it to you now, with commentary.
Or so they’d have you believe
1. We got off the Titanic first.
True, but men got to do pretty much everything else first. Like voting.
2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
And while you’re doing that, you’ll still be forced to HAVE weird gynecological disorders. Have your trickery, I’m perfectly content to never have a period. Ever.
3. Taxis stop for us.
Especially if you’re thrown in front of one.
4. We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
I suppose looking like a tramp is better?
5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo.
Maybe not one, but the sum total of women’s 1980’s fashion is particularly unimpressive.
6. We don’t have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.
Nonsense… you just blame it on us.
7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
Unless it’s summer, or you’re dressing up like a cactus.
8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.
Unfortunately.
9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
It’s called “readjustment” and it’s a small price to pay to be able to pee standing up.
10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.
Maybe, but it’ll take you two hours and a handful of outfits.
11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
So can we. The ugly ones.
12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot.
and, yet, you’ll do it anyway. Stupidity versus Ignorance.
13. We will never regret piercing our ears.
This from the gender that doesn’t regret buying five pairs of nearly identical shoes. Consider the source.
14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
You have chocolate, we have sex… and sex won’t make us fat.
15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren’t listening anyway.
Don’t mind us, we’ll be over here picturing you naked.
September 25th, 2003 at 11:02 pm
If you were looking for things like that, I\’ve got a \”It\’s Great To Be A Woman\” poem.
September 26th, 2003 at 1:23 am
Oh Petey! I saw the woman thing in your profile and knew it was something to do with that post. Kudos on the cactus. I like that one. You must realize on #14, however, that while we have chocolate and you have sex, females also then have chocolate AND sex. Unless… well, I don\’t think that\’s the case with you in particular, but whatever dings your dong, right?
September 26th, 2003 at 2:15 am
hey.. i\’m not complaining about the speedo.. especially when accompanied by a hot water polo man or a chippendale..
that can vote, slap rear ends, pass gas and come with chocolate and sex. oh hell yes.
September 26th, 2003 at 8:06 am
Rach: Got that one AND the \”glad to be a man\” poem in the humor section.
Cathy: My understanding is that there\’s a difference, for women, between sex and good sex and that instances of the former greatly out-weigh instances of the latter. That, and men don\’t have that annoying emotional attachment thing.
Jean: You need to get out more.
September 27th, 2003 at 2:17 am
i do get out.. what.. you think i have men wearing speedos around my house? i wish.
September 27th, 2003 at 10:28 am
When I say \”get out more\” I don\’t think I mean \”Going to Chippendales with your girlfriends.\”
September 30th, 2003 at 4:42 pm
Damn straight women got off the Titanic first, we got the big piece of floating wood too…and Kate Winslet didn\’t feel a bit of guilt letting Leo die while she took up the whole thing!
July 26th, 2004 at 5:41 pm
Until the Titanic age… women DIDN’T get saved first…
Speedos can be attractive… on SOME competitive swimmers (hey that was my sport of choice for 10 years… so I saw a LOT of ‘em)… Why is it that everyone claims girls are obsessed with chocolate? We do so regret piercing ears! (my mom did anyway) Since WHEN was scaring bosses an option? And what’s this taxis stopping for us thing? Axemurderers are just as likely to stop for us…
Good commentary and good list, Pete.