Canada Regains Electricity but not Power

OTTAWA, CANADA — Less than 24 hours after a power-grid failure caused caused a massive outage in the northeastern part of North America, electricity is starting to return to the affected cities in the US and Canada. Sources are reporting that despite having electricity, however, Canada is still without power.

Annoyance over the global lack of respect for “Amercia’s kid sister” seems to have finally gotten under the skin of Canada’s Prime Minister. “Power outage!?” fumed outraged Chretien “We haven’t had power since we gained our independence in 1867!”

A global survey conducted last month confirmed Chretien’s fears. Out of 10,000 respondents surveyed in Europe and Asia, 8,000 had heard of Canada before, but only 45 realized that it was a country. One respondent quipped “I thought for sure that was one of the US’s territories!”