Many of you are checking back quite religiously to see what the Circle K International Borg has decreed. For those of you who check back religiously anyway and somehow don’t know what I’m talking about, let me put it this way:
- We created a website.
- The CKI Bored didn’t like it
- They got their collective panties in a bunch.
- Breaking every policy on the subject, they declared us to have violated the “Conduct Unbecoming” policy.
- We presented our defenses (which were supposed to have been heard before any determination as to guilt was decided)
- The CKI Board held a very long meeting and made some decisions.
Now, this meeting that they held was quite serious, and they had many lofty and admirable goals, including:
- Getting back at us for pointing out their own flaws.
- Punishing us as severely as possible without pissing off the 7 people left in CKI who don’t think they’ve lost their minds
- Finding the most creative and unique ways to NOT follow policy
As you can see, this is no small task. The results of said meeting, however, are still quite a mystery to me. This is largely because once the decision was made and the letter was written, they had a look at the “Board Communication Plan” (which, for those keeping track, applies only to CKI members NOT in the borg on the CKI Board) and it said that such decisions must be communicated to us via notes scribbled on a napkin and carried by an 85 year old man named Earl with an arthritic back. It just so happens that Earl’s only means of transportation is an ancient bicycle with a bent wheel and a rusted chain. As such, the letter has not arrived yet.
However, I’ve received word that an old man on a rickety old bicycle is wandering around town looking for some guy named Keith, or something. Hard to say, really, as he also has no teeth. If Earl does, in fact, find me tomorrow you can expect to hear something next week. This weekend is district convention and I’ll not be around.
For those of you here concerned about my health, safety, and well-being: Thanks! I’ll be fine… weaker people have been harassed far more than this and survived just fine.
For the CKI Board (half of which visits at least twice a day): …Oh, who am I kidding… I’m sure you’re all visiting because you enjoy my writing and not at all because you’re a bit nervous that I might still have my own opinion. Right? Thought so.
