How to write a paper in college

As an ode to finals that are rapidly approaching, here is a fool-proof method to getting that paper done on time! (via Cathy via Katie)

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lit place in front of your computer.
2. Log onto AIM (be sure to put up an away message!). Check your email.
3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
4. Go and grab a cold piece of Pizza from the kitchen to help you concentrate.
5. Check your email.
6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to the caf and grab a hot chocolate. Just to get settled down and ready to work.
7. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lit place. And if your room is not clean, take out the garbage and vacuum first.
8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
9. Check your email.
10. You know, you haven’t written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You’d better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.
11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
12. Download some MP3s
13. Check your email.
14. AIM chat with one of your friends about the future (ie summer plans).
15. Check your email.
16. Listen to your new MP3s and download some more.
17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she’s started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your prof, the course, the college, the world at large.
18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You’ve probably run out.
19. While you’ve got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.
20. Check your email.
21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren’t missing something truly worthwhile on TV.
22. Play some solitare.
23. Check out bored.com.
24. Get a pop. (Yes, a pop)
25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven’t started either.
26. Look through your housemate’s book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.
27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future (ie summer plans).
28. Check to see if bored.com has been updated yet.
29. Check your email and listen to your new MP3s
30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule. If it’s not, you may want to reboot anyway.
31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.
32. Scoot your chair over to the window and watch the sunrise.
33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.
34. Punch the wall and break something.
35. Check your email.
36. Mumble obscenties.
37. 5am - start hacking on the paper without stopping.
38. 6am - Finish the paper
39. Complain to everyone that you didn’t get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper all night.
40. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap.