The ‘Duh’ Look is in…

Ok folks, here’s lesson number one for your first week on campus: close your mouths. Yes, that’s right… close them. Try to hide your astonishment at the fact that “omigoshimactuallyatcollegewow!” The starry-eyed “whole new world” look has passed and the freshmen are now walking around in some sort of college course induced stupor.

For those of you, if any, who intend to become freshmen at college in the near future here are some tips for you, if you don’t want to look like a freshman:

1. If you can breathe out of your nose, keep your mouth closed. Think about this one… go look in the bathroom mirror if you have to, if you’re walking around with your mouth open and you’re not talking or chewing you just look like on the verge of saying “duh”.

2. The first day of class? Don’t dress like you’re going out on a date, unless you are. Freshmen (especially the girls) will dress like they’re getting ready for some pageant, or are going to be followed around campus by MTV. Cutesy clothes, perfect make-up, uncomfortable shoes, the works. Sophomores are not quite as extreme, but you can usually tell that they thought about it. Juniors and Seniors will look like they just rolled out of bed (if they go at all), typically because they did (This even applies for those with their first classes at noon or 1pm).

3. For your classes, especially the intro-level ones, books are not necessary on the first day. In fact, it’s not an especially bad practice to have not bought them by that time. Be sure to bring a pen or pencil to the first day of class, but don’t over do it. Think about it this way, the more unnecessary crap you decide to lug around on the first day, the heavier that bag is going to be when you go to the wrong buildings for your classes and decide you want to speed walk to try to make it on time (which older students would, of course, tell you is completely unnecessary).

4. Don’t walk around with a campus map open. If you need to read it, sneak into the nearest bathroom. What works better is to find a cute member of your desired gender and ask them. Sure, you’ll look like a freshman to that person… but that’s better than broadcasting it to everyone… and besides, if the person is cute you could always just say that you knew already, but needed an excuse to talk to him/her.

Now, I’m not at all saying that looking like a freshman is a bad thing… but most freshman would prefer people not realize it.

I had Microcomputers and Japanese today. The Microprocessors professor looks more and more like a lumberjack every time I see him. Observe. Put that man in plaid and give him an Axe.

Nothing else all that interesting going on today. Still haven’t touched the email… maybe today?