Pay for what you get…

I realize that all over the web, most people have been sticking to the same side of the debate over Southwest’s policy of charging people for two seats if they’re overweight. (Reuters article via Yahoo here) It’s not often that, as a white, middle-class, non-overweight male there’s anything done specifically to protect me in any of those demographics. I feel it necessary to defend this policy, as it is a defense of my rights to fly on a plane without being consumed by another human being.

Up-freakin’-date: Of course, there’s a Satire Wire article… read it here.

I’ve heard the &#091absurd&#093 arguments opposing the policy. They claim that it’s discrimination. They claim that the airlines are going to shrink the seats until virtually everyone has to pay for two seats. They claim that they have a “right” to fly and pay the same price as us skinny folk do. The doomsday prophets have even alleged that this is a gateway to charging more based on race, sex, and religion. Now everyone has heard the sad and pitiful plight of those negatively impacted by the policy. They were humiliated, they were offended, and they had to pay more on top of all that. Well, let me tell you a little story…

A few years ago I was flying back to Bloomington, Illinois from Allentown Pennsyvania; on my way back from some [Key Club] business. I was flying by way of Detroit. The flight into Allentown was delayed, but the crew was convinced that the plane could get turned around quickly enough to leave on time. The flight left late, but was reported as leaving on time. My 10 minute connection window was missed, and I had to go through a good bit of shuffling to make it back to Bloomington that night, in order to go to class at 8:00am the next morning. Their solution? To drop me on a plane from Detroit to Minneapolis, then on a plane from there to Bloomington.

That was all well and good, I spent three hours, tired, with a pounding headache in the Minneapolis Airport (which is a really nice airport, BTW) forcing down food because I knew I needed to. When I got on the plane, I was in the middle seat of the middle row of seats. Sitting on one side of me was an overweight and talkitive woman who should’ve payed for a quarter of my seat. On the other side was a smelly and over weight man who should’ve payed for a third of my seat. Given those estimates, I payed full price for the most uncomfortable flight I’ve ever been on. I should have only had to pay for 5/12th of my seat. Under a policy similar to Southwest’s, these two folks would’ve been given two seats and I would’ve gotten a little more room.

Now, I’ve heard the people say “Oh… it should be suggested, but not required. Then anyone who doesn’t, but should, can be criticized.” Yeah. Good idea. Let’s do that with murder too, eh? And grand theft auto. “The federal government has suggested that you don’t kill anyone… because if you do, well, someone’s going to think that you’re an asshole.” Great idea, folks… let’s hear another!

It’s not very nice, but what it comes right down to is this: if you can’t keep your ass (or any other part of your body) in your seat, you should pay for two. Or three. Or however many it takes to fully encompass you. You may be offended, but you can always take the bus. I shouldn’t be forced to subsidize your obeisity simply because I’m not big enough to take up all of my seat and part of yours.