Google Genie — Your search is my command

So, a while back, Amy was noticing some search referrals that were legit, but that she had no info on her site for. So, being the good person that she is, she decided to post something to fulfill the search request. Well, being the smartass that I am, I decided to tweak the idea a little and run with it. In the following post I shall take a search referral that has absolutely nothing to do with the site, and try to shed as much light on the topic as possible.

For the greater good of googlers everywhere, tonight I shall talk about chocolate ass.

Chocolate Ass
When first slapped upside the head with such a phrase, a person’s mind might boggle with questions. In fact, Tess** has provided the questions a short FAQ about chocolate asses.

• What would having a chocolate ass entail?
  Air conditioning, and lots of it. Can you imagine the mess you’d make if it got too warm? Then again, you could carefully warm your chocolate ass and resize or reshape it as you feel is necessary. One might also gather that “getting a piece of ass” would no longer be a purely sexual phrase, but could also carry culinary connotations.
  
  
• What am I to do with a chocolate ass?
  Well, that certainly depends. If you own the chocolate ass, you can do whatever you’d like with it. If it happens to be someone else’s chocolate ass, standard rules for ass-courtesy apply: always ask before doing anything rash with another person’s ass, chocolate or otherwise. [Note: if you believe that your chocolate ass is too big, eating it is not an advisable alternative. It’ll just end up back where it came from.]
  
  
• Who would make such a thing?
  To determine the answer to this question we can take two routes: we can either talk about the makers of shaped chocolate or the makers of things shaped like asses. The easter bunny is the foremost producer of shaped chocolate. Unbeknownst to most, the same bunny is also the foremost producer of things shaped like asses. Except that he does so under a pseudonym. His ass-ociates call him Joey… Buttafuco.
  
  
• Who would want one? Is there a market for it?
  It’s well known that PT Barnum said that “There’s a fool born every minute.” little did you know the quote continues: “…so there’ll always be someone to buy your chocolate ass.” Now, especially in today’s EBay Age, who’s to argue with the man who perfected the freak show?
  
  
• What kind of variations would there be?
  Once the market opens up, I have no doubt that there will be custom chocolate ass makers that could make virtually any sort of chocolate ass you can fathom. Some include: the white chocolate ass, the chocolate ass (Now with almonds!), the hollow chocolate ass (big enough to shake on the dance floor, but light enough to keep from bogging you down), the solid chocolate ass (after all, it’d be much harder for someone to chew you a new asshole this way, wouldn’t it?), the chocolate covered cherry ass, and (of course) the Cadbury creme ass.
  
  
• What would be the mascot? Would it cluck?
  Rumor has it that talks with J. Lo fell through, but it seems that talks with the Donkeys’ local labor union are going well and of course the donkeys will cluck.
  
  

So there you have it. More than you’ve ever wanted to know about chocolate asses. Feel free to post any other questions you might have below.

** - permission to use questions was granted under the agreement that should I ever procure a chocolate ass, Tess would get the first piece.