If Men had Tails

I’m sitting here, eating my left-over steak, with our floor mop of a Shih Tzu begging at my feet. Every so often I’ll look down at him. He’ll look at me, look at the plate of food, and his tail starts to wag feverishly. I don’t think it’s a conscious thought: “Hey, if I wag this long furry thing, maybe he’ll give me that steak.” No… I think it’s as involuntary as an erection. Which certainly leads me to the next question: What would the world be like if men had tails?

Well, in my grand scheme of things, this would be even more telling than going to a nudist colony. I think the tail would start to wag at the first hint of excitement, and things would progress from there. Some very common situations would be much more entertaining.

Think about it… you try convincing your waitress that your tail wags when she comes by because she’s bringing food or drink. Riiiight. Or maybe your Sig.O. would buy the excuse that your tail randomly started swishing about as you walked through the mall because you were picturing her naked. Why even bother trying to be a good sport in winning the argument if your tail is going crazy. Further, the wife/GF would have plenty of time to come up with an excuse, because your tail would be wagging all the way through your “getting ready for bed, routine.” Or maybe she wouldn’t need the extra time. She’d come up behind you as you’re brushing your teeth and whisper in your ear: “Don’t even think about it, sparky.”

Maybe the most pressing question, however: would our legs shake if you scratched our bellies?