Crazy Little Thing Called Blog

So a while back, I had a critically acclaimed blog entry titled “About a Blog.” I spent lots of time discussing the phenomenon called blogging. Now, one thing that I certainly neglected has recently come to the forefront for a few reasons. First off, this blog has a larger percentage of IRL folks (read: non-bloggers) keeping up than any other that I am familiar with. These folks aren’t necessarily hip on the blogging scene and so some of the vaguely bloglike things that I do (link lists, mentions, etc) seem silly and some of the major blog issues (many of which have been beaten to death) seem downright asinine. However, allow me to make a case for the legitimacy of the issues or, if nothing else, the silliness of our IRL pettiness. (I’m going to speak specifically to Blogland Drama, because that’s the place where most of my IRL friends seem to lose the point.)

Let’s begin, shall we?

First, let’s think about what causes drama IRL. There are a few different things, but I think they boil down to defamation (not the legal term, mind you), betrayal, and annoyance. Generally, if you get upset with someone you do or don’t know, it can be simplified down to some combination of defamation (they said something bad about you), betrayal (you thought you could trust them, but you obviously cant), or annoyance (leaving empty milk cartons in the fridge?). And, generally speaking, drama isn’t caused by annoyance. It’s usually defamation AND betrayal that cause it. These instincts are basic and they’re fundamental in our relationships.

In order for there to be betrayal, there needs to be trust. For most people, trust requires a bond of some sort. IRL, we’re well aware how those bonds are forged, how trust is grown, and how betrayal seeps in. These seem inherent in meatspace, but these things can occur anywhere you’re capable of bonding with someone. The other thing to realize is that people want to bond. Did you hear that? They. want. to. connect.

In blogland, you have two things to go on: what the author tells you, and what you assume. Between those two things, people are capable of forming very real and very emotional bond. However, because so much of this bond is based on assumptions (or what the author ISN’T telling you) the risk of feeling betrayed is increased.

What ends up happening, you might guess, is that you stop reading a blog and start reading about a person. Soon you’re not reading about a person, you’re reading about a friend. As IRL, bestowing friendship is taking a risk. Opening up is a risk. But people do it. In fact, it’s easier to do online… and many other people have talked about why this is true much more eloquently than I ever could.

So with those little bits of info we’ve put together a puzzle: this isn’t just another fool with a website talking shit about you, or talking shit about some random other website… no folks, these are “FRIENDS” talking shit about YOU, or friends being talked about. There are friends to read the defamation and/or lies, and there are friends to spread or put to rest rumors. You IRLers and non-bloggers might not be able to understand, and I don’t have a very deep understanding, but suffice it to say that when bloggers read each other, many times its with the same eyes/ears that you’d listen to a old friend, new friend, or growing friend with.

So, this may not make it seem any less silly, trivial, or trite… but by now you should at least realize that the drama, friendships, and whatnot may be virtual but they are not fake. Not by a long shot…

…so, when I finally step up and voice an opinion on some blog-troversial issue, you’ll know why. By that point, if you still think it’s silly… hey… it’s a free country… just skip along and wait for another post.