Tess has offered to spank me. Ok… not really… but suffice it to say she was NOT offering PORN SUBSCRIPTIONS like I said she was, and probably would’ve prefered me not mention them. That’s ok… visit anyway.
The total Marine Wives Forum visitor count is up to 83. And I see they’ve posted about “being famous.” Trust me, ladies, being mentioned here is far from fame. I continue to be impressed by the number of posters and posts over there, though… great community. Semper Fi.
In other news, I spoke with my father today about tampons. Yes… you heard me. While the world would be different if men needed tampons, but we don’t. The fact of the matter is that it’s still women who bleed monthly, and it’s men (usually) that have to put up with them the privilege of helping them through their difficult time. You see, invariably, as a man, you will have to, at some point, buy some sort of feminine hygiene product for wife/girlfriend/mistress/mother/one-night-stand. The strangest thing about that, is to watch a guy buying tampons.
The guy will walk into the grocery store, drug store, etc… and push a shopping cart around until he finds something he needs to buy. Anything he needs to buy. Anything to keep him from JUST buying tampons. I’m not sure why… you can almost hear the rationalization: “Well, I was on my way out to buy… ummm… an 8-piece cutlery set, a new shirt, a watch battery, and cat food so I thought I’d pick some of these up too.” Bullshit. You know very well there’s a homicidal woman somewhere and buying the tampons was a way to appease the lady and get the hell out of her way give her some piece and quiet.
Once the requisite cart full of random crap has been acquired, the man finds a secluded spot to take out his “shopping list”. Any woman who sends a man to the store to buy tampons without specific instructions is just asking for trouble. Now, the man is not going to be studying this list IN the tampon aisle. Oh no… he’s going to act like he’s looking for pasta, or towels, or cereal while he reads the details.
Once he’s familiar with the list, he strides confidently (or scurries like a cockroach looking for a cabinet when the kitchen light is turned on) for the appropriate aile (which has already been staked out). He walks carefully down the aisle, looking for the box that fits the exact description given to him by aforementioned woman. Once found, he grabs the box and tosses (yes, tosses) it into the cart, making sure to tell anyone standing within eyesight or earshot that they’re not for him. No shit?
At this time, the man makes tracks for the checkout. The express checkout. Once again, being sure to inform the clerk that the tampons are not, in fact, his. As if anyone is going to assume they are.
For some men, this can be quite an ordeal. Buying tampons. I have come up with a way to make this job easier and much less stressful. Tampons should be sold, for the convenience of men, at the following places: Drive-up liquor stores, McDonalds (et al), hardware stores, and blockbuster.
Speaker: May I take your order?
Man: Yes, I’d like a number two, hold the mustard, extra pickles, fatty-sized with a coke and
Speaker: That’ll be a number two with no mustard and extra pickles, Fatty-sized, with a coke, and a 40-Pack of Original Tampax, Super Plus Absorbancy? Will that be all?
Man:
Speaker: Your total is $11.48, please pull through.
See… better already.
i think the best strategy for a dude buying tampons would be to boldly hand them to the cashier and state, loudly and clearly, \’these aren\’t for me\’.
they will believe you.
actually, you must realize that a guy buying tampons is going to look like a hero in the eyes of any woman that witnesses it. it\’s kind of like being at the store with a puppy or a baby. chicks dig that.
Yeah… I don\’t really have a problem doing it. I just think it\’s funny that guys are all worried about it. C\’mon… do you REALLY think someone is going to accuse you of being a closet-tampon-user?
yes. That\’s what I always think. \”I wonder where he\’s going to stick those things…sick bastard\”
You just described my method of shopping for condoms. Uncanny,I say!
i agree with the condom statement.
It\’s a pretty common method… if you pay attention, you can usually pick out people who are shopping for things like tampons, condoms, preparation h, monistat 7, and the like. I\’m tellin\’ ya… we need a drive through for that sort of thing… but what would we call it?
How about a drive through where you just feed it some money and push a button? Then no one will ever know…..
I\’m reminded (yet again) of the time a friend of my ex-husband\’s picked up a box of Tampax for a female coworker (long story - military people). My ex thought to embarrass him by asking what he needed the tampons for, and he shouted back across the convenience store, \”In case I get a nosebleed, Chief!\”
A nose bleed? Oh goodness… now THERE\’S a sight.